THE ABSURD TIMES

dirtyharryiraq Ironyi

Illustrations:  A couple appropriate visual aids.

It’s time just to think about a few things.

American Sniper: This movie makes lots of money and is disgusting.  It has one virtue: it reminds one of why Eastwood has been despised by intelligent people ever since Dirty Harry, and why he had to make spaghetti westerns for so long.  During the time of his first films, they were a reaction to civil rights, demonstrations, civic action groups, etc.  Much later, he made a few worthwhile ones and we wondered why we despised him.  Now we remember.  Chris Hedges suggested that a better title would be KILLING RAGHEADS FOR JESUS.

Football: The deflated footballs cause quite a fuss, don’t they.  Why? Consider how much commercial time costs during the broadcast.  Millions per 30 seconds.  Actually, the New England Patriots’ Quarterback (they are usually the ones with an IQ over 105) said “C’mon, guys, it’s not ISIS. Nobody died.”  This was probably the most astute comment made about this whole situation.  Millions have expressed concern, but anonymous sources tell us that 9 of the deflated and abused footballs will be represented by Gloria Allred.  There is also information that the Patriots’ balls were in a bathroom together and someone was in possession of them.  They may have been abused by one or more accomplices.  While the NFL has shown much interest in Patriot’s balls, it has shown no interest in Pat Tillman being shot in the back.

Russia: As we commemorate the 70th anniversary of projected guilt, let us remember that Aushwitz was liberated by the Russians.  Still, it is no reason to subject so many to Nenteyahoo’s countenance at every opportunity.  Putin is now the President of that country, and it is time to reflect on NATO sending so many neo-nazi troops to support the romantically patriotic figures in Kiev, Ukraine.  The Two billion dollars in loan guarantees given to that neo-nazi regime seems  inopportune at a time when Russia has an enormous amount of nuclear weapons.  There is no record of Putin ever being timid.  Gorbochev, former president, warns that Putin could very well feel pushed into a nuclear war.  Just when we all feared a slow, agonizing death from poison air, comes this good news about possible mass incineration, fast and clean!

Mideast: Reflection is rather preposterous at this time, but facts are always useful.  Our liberation of Libya from its one leader, we now have a mere 1,700 leaders or factions, most of them “Islamist,” which is supposedly bad for business.  In Egypt, our puppet, has killed dozens of civilians since the anniversary of the original revolution.  (On Twitter, #jan25 still is used for messages.)  Journalists, evil folks all, are in prison, and our puppet makes agreements with Israel as if they were brothers.  Israel attacked Syria and Lebanon, killing at least one Iranian general and several members of Hezbolla.  Some Israelis died as well, apparently.  Isis wants Jordan to release a woman who has been of death row in exchange for a Jordanian pilot and some Japanese guy.  Fox disapproves which would endorse the exchange.  Iran has made more progress in fighting ISIS than has the US, although Kurds have apparently won some town on the border with Turkey. The woman wanted in the Charlie Hebdo matter is in Syria and was in Turkey during the attack.  Still, she is guilty because she made many phone calls before the attack, and to another woman involved as well.  Michelle Obama did not cover her hair in Saudi Arabia, so people did not shakes hands with her, although they did perform a beheading on the day Obama landed, so the thing did have its upside.  For more on Lebanon and Israel:http://medhajnews.com/article.php?id=NjMxNA==

Beheadings:  If you ever get to hear Hayden’s 85th Symphony, you are treated to Marie Antoinette’s favorite symphony, ever.  She was beheaded, but not for that.  ISIS beheads many, but Saudi Arabia is still the leader in decapitations.  Guillotine invented his machine as a “humane” measure, and certainly it is more “humane” than the 21st century methods that usually involving cutting and hacking away.  It may even be more humane that or current lethal injections that sometimes string out the actual death to 45 minutes or so, writhing and screaming in pain.  Still, we have gitmo, so we still may be the world’s leader in painful death.  On the subject, the first lady sans headgear did stand in that receiving line and no-one would shake her hand. Reports that he has been beheaded are certainly premature, most like false, but not unfounded.

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